Category: Amusing

Government Shuts Down, Nation Descends into Riots, Looting and Cannibalism

 

planetoftheapesending

The savage population, which had only been kept in line through a policy of rigorous gun confiscations, food stamps and lectures on the environment unleashed its pent up rage in a spree of riots, looting and mass murder that had only previously been encountered in Somalia, Russia and a Walmart in downtown Atlanta.

“The government shut down! We can do anything we like,” shouted Sam Hasbley of Grassley, Iowa, while tearing the tag off a mattress despite an explicit warning label forbidding such a dangerous course of action. “Tear yours off. The government is shut down. It can’t stop you.”

More horrors at “Government Shuts Down, Nation Descends into Riots, Looting and Cannibalism”

5 Things Women Do That Secretly Annoy Men – Brass Pills

4) We’re expected to talk way too much.

There’s this stereotype that says women love to talk and men don’t. There’s probably a little truth to that, but the real problem men have in that area comes from the topics women typically want to talk about. As a general rule, most men aren’t very interested in talking about their feelings. Also, who was wearing what? Where they went to lunch? Who said what to whom? Not only are men not interested in discussing these things, they’re afraid if they do, it might prompt the woman to spend 15 minutes telling him the minute details of her day which is only slightly less painful than being punched in the face.

Also, because many women tend to over-analyze, they assign all sorts of deep meaning to trivial gestures and then demand explanations. Sometimes a rose is just a rose and five minutes of silence is just a man thinking about what he has to do at work tomorrow. You want to get a man to talk? It’s not hard. Ask him to explain what’s going on in a UFC fight or what his favorite sexual fantasy is and you’ll have trouble getting him to shut up.

Source: 5 Things Women Do That Secretly Annoy Men – Brass Pills

An Argument on Why You Can Bang Married Liberal Women

The complete abdication of morals, virtue, morality and certainly family kind of calls into question the validity of any leftist people getting married. You’re OK with stealing people’s money. You mock and ridicule religions (where marriage hails from). You’re against nuclear families. And you love the state over individuals. What moral obligation do people have to honor the marriages of liberal people?

Indeed. OTOH, who would want to? Liberals are mentally ill and violent. Also liberal women are ugly.

Source: An Argument on Why You Can Bang Married Liberal Women

The List – American Digest

“The List” is a means of male-control through negative feedback. Positive male actions towards a woman are expected, perhaps noted at the time, perhaps not, — but always in pencil. A brief pat and nod of encouragement and then the woman goes back into the default mode of “what have you done for me lately?” “Lately” is, as all men know, but a small subset of a single day.

Failings of the male — such as lapses in mental telepathy — are kept on “The List” in indelible ink, preferably blood-red. “The List” also includes transgressions, large and small, against the woman from previous relationships with previous males. The ownership of all these transgressions is automatically transferred to the male of the current relationship at the moment of inception or conception, whichever comes first. This is the reason men sometimes feel they are expected to pay an overdue bill for a meal they did not eat in a restaurant that no longer exists. Plus a 20% tip.

Wasn’t just me thinking I was being blamed for stuff her ex did. Good to know.

Source: The List – American Digest

Fthagn to you too

Point Nemo is R’lyeh? Really?
The conclusion is obvious. The world’s space programs are secretly run by a cabal of insane Cthulhu cultists who are dropping space junk on Cthulhu’s crib in an effort to wake him up. “When the stars are right”, hmmph.

Questions nobody is asking…

One day in the 1970s, the officers of a Red Army reserve division in the backwaters of Siberia were summoned to hear a confidential presentation by a young major, who had come all the way from the General Staff in Moscow. What the major said astonished them. In Moscow’s view, the Soviet Union’s chief enemy was not the capitalist West, but the nominally-communist Chinese. War with China was inevitable. This war would be unlike that for which they had prepared in many ways: most important, the Chinese would have numerical superiority. The major showed charts of populations, troop strength, and other statistics making this point. As China grew more populous, it would grow stronger and more acquisitive. Fortunately, the major continued, there was a precedent for a numerically-inferior army defeating a larger enemy. He then presented a detailed analysis of Israeli performance in the 1948, 1956, 1967, and 1973 wars. By emulating Israeli tactics and dispositions, the Red Army could crush the Chinese. Future training would be along these lines. The major then asked if the reservists had any questions.
“Comrade Major, do we have enough Jews?”